Expecting a Partner to Fulfill a Role
One of the big blindspots in romantic relationships, and the hidden reason so many of them don’t work out, is that partners themselves have hidden, barely conscious expectations for one another that...
View ArticleWhat To Do If You Are Feeling Stuck
If you are feeling stuck in some area of your life then what’s really going on is ambivalence, which is having simultaneous conflicting thoughts and feelings. When we want something with the whole of...
View ArticleProductive Conflict
For most of us conflict situations lead to destructive consequences. Our words or actions are violent as we seek not to understand the other but to win the fight. And in putting our own unhealthy need...
View ArticleAsking For Validation
When many of us ask for advice what we’re actually asking for is validation. We’re not really interested in changing anything about our current situations, and we’re especially not interested in...
View ArticleSelf-Actualization and Human Relationships
The paradox is that self-actualization, which is the process of unfolding unique potentialities within the individual, can only really happen in the context of human relationships. We’re social...
View ArticleExternalizing the Problem and Integration of Self
In narrative therapy one of the most important and effective therapeutic techniques is helping the client externalize the problem. A core phrase in narrative therapy is “The person is not the problem,...
View ArticleVote
On Tuesday we have the chance to send a clear message to oppressors everywhere. “We are coming for you. Where you wield fear and disinformation to maintain power we choose love and hope. We will tear...
View ArticleStruggling With Mortality
We’re all struggling with mortality in its various guises but most of us aren’t fully aware of the toll that struggle is taking on us, or even that we’re struggling at all. Why? Because the...
View ArticleEmbrace Falls
If you spend a season at the ski mountain you’ll notice that a lot of beginner and intermediate skiers judge their days by how many times they fall. If they didn’t fall at all it was a ‘great’ day. If...
View ArticleCombating Loneliness in the Age of Covid
Fighting the spread of Covid-19 has included a lot of forced isolation and with that isolation comes painful loneliness. Loneliness is an oppressive state. It makes us feel helpless, powerless. We...
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